There’s something you should know about us at Two Moms and ADHD. Our kids fall into a category we’ve labeled ADHD+. That + means it’s not the simpler version of ADHD where meds help a hyperactive kid channel energy through sports or mask the unfocused child with productivity. These ADHDers mostly fit in and look typical. ADHD+ is a complex mix of ADHD and one or several of the comorbid conditions that can come with it. These cases usually mean social/emotional skills are impaired, so relating to others is not going to look like it probably does to you and me. This reality is profound. There is no briefing, workshop or pamphlet to explain. These truths reveal themselves over time, requiring shifts in parenting along with some in our hearts.
Norrine’s kiddos are extremely likable. They’re highly academic, have interesting hobbies and they value people. But their ADHD is compounded with mood disorders, autism, sensory issues and anxiety. So while sounds of beautiful piano playing often fills her home – the sounds of giggling girls at a sleepover won’t. Packs of nerf gun toting boys won’t be running through her yard but stacks of books and science experiments are plentiful. Things look different than she thought they would. Her kids don’t know the difference and because their conditions create a rigidity and anxiety over playdates – they love things the way things are. But let’s be honest, as a parent this can be heartbreaking. Many expectations for your child are lost and you may not realize it – but you’re grieving. If that’s you, please know you’re not alone and we get you!
Having an ADHDer is already tough. When its layered with other conditions its exponentially harder.
Letting go of expectations is a requirement on this ADHD journey. It’s what enables your clenched fistful of hopes to open so that you can receive the beautiful blessings meant just for your child. It’s not easy, but it’s necessary.
Are there dreams for your child you’ve had to let go of? Maybe some unexpected celebrations too? We’d love for you to share in the comments.