Norrine and I have often talked about how beneficial it would’ve been to have known other parents with complex ADHDers as we’ve been on this parenting journey. Neither of us had the benefit of heartfelt and telling conversations with other parents who’d traveled before us. There’s much that can be learned from another’s story. At the very least, it can remind us we’re not alone. On some days, that would’ve been more than enough.
Nor’s Story: Never Have I Ever (felt so alone)
Fast forward a few years in the Russell household and my husband says to me, “There’s still something more. I don’t know what it is. But there’s something that is going on.” He looks at me because I’m supposed to know things. I look at him because I don’t know anything. To be fair, no one really gets this kid so the fact that I don’t is nothing to beat myself up about.
He says, “It feels like autism.” I say, I don’t know anything about autism. He says, “I think it’s autism.” I know enough to say that we need an evaluation.
We get an evaluation and yes, he has autism. Eight months later, I’m STILL trying to understand. I email the psychologist, “Are you sure?”
My son’s therapist says to me, “It doesn’t feel to me like you embrace the autism diagnosis.” I look up, startled into awe with her observation. I reply, processing slowly, “I guess I don’t. Because it doesn’t feel like autism is the place we belong either. Where’s the place for parents who have kids with sensory issues, ADHD, anxiety, depression, and autism?” We just both look at each other, because there’s not really a place and we both know that. We are alone.
There’s power in sharing your story and we invite you to share yours too. If you haven’t already, join our Two Moms and ADHD private page on Facebook today. It’s the perfect place to share and you never know who your words may help or whose words may help you.