How To Best Support the Parents of ADHDers In Your Life

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ADHD can deeply affect relationships with family and friends.  But when handled with care, it’s an opportunity to make something beautiful.

Here are some reflections from Two Moms for family and friends of parents of ADHDers…

  1. Take it upon yourself to EDUCATE YOURSELF.  If your grandchild, niece, nephew, best friend’s child has ADHD, ask your son or daughter, “What books or websites do you recommend so that I can better understand?”  We’ve got some terrific resources on our website if you don’t have a favorite reference yet.  And tell them to follow Two Moms and ADHD – on our website or social media –  because we have a lot of truth to tell!
  1. LISTEN.  “What parts of your parenting experience do I seem to not get yet?  What should I know about your child?  And listen more.  Don’t interject or reframe or judge.  As my old Roomie says, “No judgment here!”  It’s vitally important that you put aside preconceived ideas or other people you’ve known and seek to understand this child.  Start with a blank slate and listen to our experiences and hard-won truths.  We have had a hard enough time figuring them out, we don’t need to hear about Mason or Max or Madylyn.  We need you to see us and hear us.  
  1. ASK WHAT WOULD BE SUPPORTIVE OR HELPFUL.  “I’m not sure how best to help you but I have Saturday free. Can I take the kids, come over and do laundry, take you for drinks, or something else?  Please tell me what would be best for you!”  Let that parent know you can be relied on to help in a way that truly relieves stress. (Hint: Don’t just show up with dishes and dishes of food!  Our kids’ “picky” eating is a real thing.) 
  1. KEEP SHOWING UP.  Just show up.  

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