Managing the day to day of a complex ADHDer has challenges. Most of our time is spent corralling the rollercoaster of emotions they experience and pointing them in the the right direction as a gentle reminder to keep them on task . It requires a smooth and steady temperament on our part – keeping our reactions to a minimum and providing a continual flow of encouragement and support. Some days it’s nearly impossible to stay the course and not react to the attitudes or tasks left undone. Other days leave our hearts broken because we can’t fix their struggle and we all know a momma is only as happy as her saddest child.
Can we count the feelings we push away in a day’s time? There’s the continual flow of annoyances we can always expect – items left behind, things left undone and maybe school troubles. We’re exasperated a lot. But when things get hard, really hard, for our ADHD+ers it’s different. When meds aren’t working and side effect become debilitating. When they’re trying hard but fall short and know the teacher thinks they’re lazy. When their coach makes a comment in front of the whole team that leaves them feeling small. When they’re dragging their feet to yet another doctor appointment – do you wonder what they’re feeling? Sometimes do you look at your child and your heart can barely hold all the feelings back? All the ones you push away every day. Their hurt is yours.
Can we count the feelings we push away in a day’s time?
Do you feel the load of your heart? Sometimes is it bursting at the seams? Is it overwhelming? We push through a lot in the day to day moments – tirelessly advocating on all fronts and pushing and searching for answers. Sometimes we don’t realize the dam is about to break because all we know is we have to keep it together.
Norrine and I have found it’s good to let it all go – and to do it often. We are not machines. Our hearts are tied to our people – we feel what they feel. And its a lot. A whole lot. If your child is in a continual struggle that’s complicated and hard and messy for your family – recognize that your heart is carrying that too. Feel the feelings. Come up for air. Acknowledge the hard road. Only then can you find perspective. For me, intense time in prayer brings me the strength and peace I crave. That time alone is necessary and healing. I can leave my burden behind and move forward.
How are you feeling? Is your heart in a heavy season? How do you tend to your hurts? We know it’s hard, but we know you can do it. We’re cheering you on.
Two Moms and ADHD 