Ever get into a rough patch that feels like quicksand? The one or two things that started going south now seem to have tainted all the things and the whole ship feels like it’s going down. Fast. It’s in those moments that fear gives way to a feeling of monumental failure. Whatever grip we thought we had is slipping and we are questioning ourselves. We’re counting our missteps. We’re feeling like the mess we’re looking at is a reflection of the job we’ve done.
This is a cycle we can find ourselves in often because when you’re parenting a complex ADHDer you’re either coming out of a rough patch or can anticipate soon being in one. It’s just the way it goes. It’s so critical to keep our heads above water to avoid not losing our way in these times. It’s also hard to do because when everything feels hard and we’re hitting our head against a brick wall we can’t really see anything beyond it.
That’s where we’ve found it really helps to have a friend. Norrine is my constant life line that reminds me of the couple of truths I need to get unstuck in the hard places. First she’ll always help me find the next logical step to take. This always helps to feel productive and see light at the end of the tunnel. She’ll also pry my eyes open to be on the lookout for progress – because it’s easy to miss but makes all the difference when we notice it – no matter how small it may be. Lastly, she’ll remind me that the job I’m doing is not reflected in what I’m seeing today. That’s a big one. WHAT THINGS LOOK LIKE TODAY ARE NOT A SUMMATION OF THE EFFORT I PUT IN EVERY DAY. Anyone need to hear that?
Hard places are inevitable in parenting, but they’re a consistent guarantee when parenting complex ADHDers. Not getting stuck in those hard places is what’s important. Pulling out of the quicksand and pulling ourselves together for the next logical step is where it’s at. Keep moving forward and keep looking for any sign of progress. Remind yourself, the job you’re doing – the showing up and giving 100% day after day – it really does make a difference. You’re doing the hard stuff day after day you do not have to stay stuck in the hard places too.
Anyone relate to feeling stuck sometimes? Anyone squirming their way out of the quicksand today? We’d love to hear your story. We’re cheering you on!