Anyone else exhausted? You know how the grind of managing school woes and mood woes and med woes and wrangling it all day after day has just taken it all out of you? The pushing and prodding and cheering on and managing is such a constant that it almost becomes an even-paced, depleting autopilot setting. Until there’s a crisis that sets you off running hard again. And there’s always a crisis that springs up every now and again, as if right on cue.
Parenting a complex ADHD+er is hard. There are seasons that really wring you like a sponge. As Norrine says to me sometimes, she’s learned to become a psychiatrist, a nutritionist and a teacher among other titles just to manage her child. We’ve all been left flapping out in the wind more than once to untangle crazy messes that not even the most sought after professionals seem to understand. It can be really hard and lonely work. And the thing about it is, there’s no finish line in sight. There’s no: LET’S RALLY HARD BECAUSE WE ARE ALMOST THERE! cheer. The reality is we’re managing hard on the daily and navigating deep, torrential waters often enough with zero breaks – knowing all the while that THIS IS A FOREVER JOB.
That reality may make you want to just lay in the road some days. We’re human. We get tired. We don’t have all the answers this journey demands and the stamina to keep up can be elusive. It’s hard to live with the daily pressure of facing all these challenges – seemingly all at once some days.
We’ve found it’s important to remember that this is a marathon. Finding our even, steady pace is the key to continually moving forward. There are days where the sprint is necessary – a flurry of calls to get meds switched out, tracking down just the right tutor or shepherding our ADHD+er through emotional woes. But it’s our everyday regimen of keeping these kiddos on track that reminds us the steady pace is where it’s at. Moving forward. No stopping. No giving up.
There are no fast lanes in this parenting marathon. No shortcuts. Norrine and I have found that it’s in the steady pace where we fuel ourselves up that we have the most stamina. There’s joy and peace to be found in that pace – even though we are huffing and puffing to keep up. Take in the smiles and the hugs and the breakthroughs – celebrate them BIG! That’s fuel. Look for the bits of progress and glimmers of future success, that’s fuel too. Running is all about staying hydrated, so remember what keeps YOU fulfilled too and do those things OFTEN. That’s necessary fuel.
The road can be hard and the journey relentless – but it’s in the even pace of moving forward that we can savor the landscape and even look forward to what’s ahead. You can do this. We’re cheering you on!